I have three kids. They are all different. You may have kids too and I am sure they are all different. They are not like each other and they are not like you. Isn’t this fact alone a mystery?
The question I now ask in many of my leadership seminars is this: “Do I by virtue of my position as a “Father” expect all of them to adjust to me or do I adjust to them?” And almost every single one of the participants will answer: “Adjust to them.” The answer is right.
Why do I need to adjust to them? The answer is very simple because I care for them.
Good leaders take the time, effort and energy to know their people, connect and engage with them because they genuinely care for them.
We need to understand that there are different behaviors you typically find in the workplace.
When times are normal, these behaviors do not manifest. When there is a particular threat or difficulty, these are the 10 specific behavior patterns that sane people resort to when they feel threatened or thwarted, that represent their struggle with (or withdrawal from) undesired circumstances.
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Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirschner in a book they authored a few years ago entitled: “Dealing With People You Can’t Stand” identified the following people and their specific behaviors. The book may have been written a couple of years ago but the material is still as relevant as it can be. Here are the types of people in the workplace:
The Tank: Pushy and ruthless, loud and forceful, or with the quiet intensity and surgical precision of a laser, the “Tank” assumes that the end justifies the means. If you are in the way, you will be eliminated.
The Sniper: This covert operator resents you for some reason. Instead of getting mad, he or she gets even by identifying your weaknesses and using them against you, through sabotage, gossip and putdowns.
The Grenade: This person explodes in tantrums that seem disproportionate to the present circumstances, sending others ducking for cover and wondering what it’s all about.
The Know-It-All: These are the walking encyclopedias. My friend Kuya Kim would be embarrassed to stand beside him. This person knows 98 percent of everything. (Just ask!) Know-It-All’s will tell you what they know—for hours at a time!—but won’t take a moment to listen to your “clearly inferior ideas.”
The Think-They-Know-It-All: Although these people don’t know that much, they don’t let that get in the way. If you don’t know much about what they’re talking about, they may mislead you into trouble or throw a project off track. Some people look so intelligent until they open their mouths.
The Yes Person: Quick to agree, slow to deliver, the “Yes Person” leaves a trail of unfulfilled commitments and broken promises. Although they please no one, “Yes People” overcommit to please.
People who do not stand for anything will fall for everything.
The Maybe Person: When faced with a crucial decision, the “Maybe Person” keeps putting it off until it’s too late. Finally, there comes a point when the decision makes itself. Then it’s nobody’s default but his or her own.
The Nothing Person: You can’t know what’s going on because the “Nothing Person” tell you nothing—no feedback, verbal or nonverbal.
The No Person: This person says, “Every silver cloud has a dark lining” and “I’m not being negative, I’m being realistic.” Doleful and discouraging, the “No Person” drives others to despair.
The Whiner: These people wallow in their woe, whine incessantly, and drag others down with the weight of their generalizations that nothing is right, everything is wrong, and it’s always going to be that way unless you do something.
So here is my take in all of these. Leaders should be trained in leadership skills and everyone should be trained in soft skills that deal with people relationships, communication skills and most importantly on values, right behavior and right attitude that is aligned with their company values.
A good leader genuinely cares for his or her people and would be willing to invest in leadership skills. He or she does not expect everyone to adjust because the title or the position is there. Good leadership connects, engages and inspire.
The question now is are you one of them and do you really… as in really… know your people?
(Bring your leaders to Makati Shangri-La Hotel and experience two inspiring days of leadership training with Francis Kong in his highly acclaimed and updated Level Up Leadership on September 13-14. For further inquiries contact Jen of Inspire at 6310912 or +639178173736 or April at +639285591798.)
