May 122017
Chinkee Tan

Chinkee Tan

Has this ever happened to you? Crying for hours, days, weeks, months, or even years. You’ve wasted so much time yet you just can’t seem to stop thinking about what happened!

You can’t eat, you can’t function at work, you’re always not yourself. There are so many things that have already happened, and yet, you’re still here, getting all left behind. Why? What happened?

Maybe you were expecting something to happen, and you were so ready for it, but it didn’t happen. You feel like it’s so unfair because what you were hoping for did not take place. What’s even worse is that you feel like life is playing tricks on you. What you want is just right there in front of you, you can reach for it, you can see it — but you just cannot have it. And so you go through so much agony, grief, and sadness.

That’s what happened to one of my letter senders. She has been married for the past 20 years and is living a happy life. Then one day, all of a sudden, her husband started treating her coldly.

Whenever she would ask how the husband’s day is, he would only answer, “Okay” or “Fine”.

Then, after carefully investigating and inquiring, she found out that her husband has a mistress who he houses in a condo. That was the biggest blow in her life. And her question to me was, what was she going to do in her life?

When unfortunate events like these happen, how do we move on?


Because if you don’t, you will just keep on sabotaging yourself. You will stop making an effort to push yourself back up. You can’t have a pity party forever. First of all, you will be all alone.

Second, that is such a very sad party! Remember that you will not be able to provide any solution to a problem if you keep holding on to the pain of your problem. The only way that you can solve your problem is for you to decide to FORGIVE. You got to DECIDE to let go of the pain.

And once you’ve already decided…


Stop doing throwbacks and reminding yourself of the past over and over again. Ask yourself,

What can I do to make up for the lost time? What can I do to provide a solution to my problems?

I’m sure that you want to be able to move on to the next chapter of your life. Now is the time to focus on the present and move on.  

And lastly, TRUST GOD’S PLAN. Maybe you keep on blaming everyone for everything that is happening to you. You’re always thinking, it’s so unfair that all these things are happening to you. But, remember that God can use anything and everything that happens to you, whether positive or negative. Sometimes, God brings us to situations only for us to realize and learn certain things. I firmly believe in God’s promise that: All things work together for good for those who are called according to His purpose.  


Are you still on a self-pity party mode?

Are you ready to move on?

Are you ready to decide to forgive?

(Chinkee Tan is a top Filipino motivational speaker, wealth and life coach whose goal is to inform, educate, motivate, and disturb. His vision is to help people become financially-literate and debt-free. For more info about Chinkee Tan, please visit his fan page at FB, Twitter and Instagram. Also follow VIBER PUBLIC CHAT GROUP search chinkee tan, and VISIONCHINKEE on You Tube for more news and encouragements.)


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